Recently, my father died. In the months preceding his demise I was involved in his care. Based on that involvement I would share some thoughts.
There is no process of dying. Living is a process. Death is an event. To constantly anticipate this event is to degrade the process of living.
There are none among us who will elude death. That only serves to make living a more precious gift.
There are conditions which clearly indicate the process of living will cease in the not too distant future. These existence of these conditions does not call for us to, at such a point, engage in a trial of dying. Rather, all parties should find it incumbent upon themselves to embrace and cherish all the living which remains. It is frivolous to deny that death will occur or may even be imminent. However, as long as life continues we should endeavor to live as completely as our ability and resources allow. Even following the introduction of hospice care the purpose should be to provide for some quality of life rather than some quality of dying.
My emphasis in the preceding has been upon the individual whose life may be approaching an end. I have been intimately acquainted with imminent death in my own existence. I am fully cognizant of the joys and trials of life in its many and varied forms. Caregivers, friends, family; your life is not ending with the death of your patient/loved one. Your life will have changed, it will not have ended. As long as life continues, there is hope. Share that hope. This hopefulness will support you and the one who is approaching the end of their life. Share the knowledge that life will continue and your patient/loved one will always be a part of that living even when they are no longer present in it. Hopelessness and despair serves neither the living nor the late. Allow them and yourself to cherish all the life each of you has.
We will all experience death but we need not be ruled by it. While you are alive, live.
