I had never really considered it, but evidently I came to this parenting thing later than a lot of folks. I am an AARP member and my daughter is a sophomore in college.
I have had some fellows several years younger than I am, whose daughters are the same age as mine, ask me about issues with raising a daughter. Evidently a lot of them have difficulty with their daughter's dating habits. I have been amazed at the lack of thought they have given to an issue that was bound to arise.
I was 34 when my daughter was born. Old enough to have established myself as an adult but not too old to recall what I was like as teenage male. If, as the father of a daughter you wait until she is old enough for boys to be interested in her to consider your responsibilities, then shame on you.
When she was 12 I began my program to insure that any potential suitors would be aware of my existence and possess some sense of what they considered to be my nature. Straight up, I made sure they feared me. This would have been in 7th grade so by the time high school rolled around the groundwork was well and truly laid.
I let her start her dating career with groups. I would drop her off and pick her up. I didn't have to speak to anyone, but I made sure they were cognizant of my presence. By the time she and the young men who had the nerve to ask her out were old enough to drive, there was not really an issue of trust nor expectations. I didn't trust any of them and they knew what to expect if my daughter was not home at the appointed time.
I never threatened any of these young fellows. I told them there were only 4 things they needed to know. The first was curfew. The rest were merely details; I am over 50, I own guns, and I have a compost pit. If they weren't bright enough to recognize that the consequences of their actions would be much more long-lived than mine then they would never make the cut.
Papa Tango 6, out
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
The Husbands Mantra, a public service announcement
How to maintain Domestic Tranquility
Public Service Announcement
Hello, my name is Michael Wesley. It is my desire today to provide you with theory and processes that, if employed, will allow you to develop and maintain a level of domestic tranquility in your household that you may not have previously enjoyed.
What will follow is based on research in both the workplace and households composed of committed couples both with and without children. Personally, I have been in a committed monogamous relationship for over 25 years, so I feel I do speak with some authority on this topic. Based upon this research, and personal experience, I believe the primary beneficiaries of this announcement will be married males.
I have found the individuals least likely to possess the skills to be offered are married males who have been married 6 years or less, but this is by no means the only group that can benefit.
Ladies, and gentlemen, you may wish to peruse this offering and, if you have a partner who shares some of the less desirable traits discussed herein, you can then direct them to this helpful information.
The thesis for everything to follow is this: Guys, you are wrong. You were wrong, you are wrong, and you will always be wrong.
The most common response to this assertion is to refute its validity. And, in any particular circumstance, you may be technically correct. However, as correct as you may be, you are still wrong. To act in any manner which fails to recognize this will only result in discord. What we want to attain is tranquility, both in your life and the lives of those around you.
You may have acted selflessly, solely to the benefit of those around you. You, no doubt, did precisely as requested, performed in the manner desired, and produced the results which were sought. However, if your significant other is not pleased you must be able to immediately disassociate your self from your efforts.
This is not a skill that is generally found to be prevalent in the group I mentioned above as being most likely to benefit from this PSA. In fact, I have found this group to most readily react to less than enthusiastic endorsement by ascending the Pedestal of Righteousness.
The Pedestal of Righteousness can be an enticing destination. But, it is not a place you can live. You may stand upon the Pedestal of Righteousness for as long as you wish or until you collapse from exhaustion, whichever comes first. Then, when you have once again deigned to join those mere mortals you left behind you will still not have the tranquility which is sought.
The following exchange is a typical example of the results of acting as discussed above. The names have been changed to protect all those involved.
“Hey Pete, something bothering you?”
“Yea, my wife’s mad at me.”
“Well, did you apologize?”
“No, I didn’t do anything to apologize for.”
Now, Pete is not happy. Pete’s wife is not happy. And if there are any children, if both parents are unhappy then the kids are not happy either. That’s a lot of unnecessary unhappiness.
What all of this has been leading to is near at hand. I refer to this as the “Husband’s Mantra”. Not because it is exclusive to them but because my research shows they are the most likely to benefit from its use.
The Husbands Mantra is, Baby (insert your preferred term of endearment) I’m sorry, it was my fault, I was thoughtless, and it won’t happen again. Commit this to memory. The moment will be lost in any hesitation.
When your wife, spouse, girlfriend, or significant other begins to look at you crosswise you must be able to immediately respond with “Baby, I’m sorry, it was my fault, I was thoughtless, and it won’t happen again”.
If you can offer this statement honestly and sincerely then you have already benefited in being able to express your recognition of the value of your partner and your desire to please them.
If you cannot offer this statement in that honest and sincere manner, then you must do so promptly and as often as necessary. Then proceed to do that which your partner desires. Do not act as Lot’s wife, but proceed with alacrity, enthusiasm, and commitment onto whatever task is presented.
Do not dwell in the past, for there be monsters. Rather, embrace the tranquility which can be yours. In the recitation of the Husband’s Mantra, you are not denying yourself, but rather, validating your significant other.
Repeat, Baby, I’m sorry, it was my fault, I was thoughtless and it won’t happen again.
Thank you for your time and attention. I am Michael Wesley, and Papa Tango 6 is out.
Public Service Announcement
Hello, my name is Michael Wesley. It is my desire today to provide you with theory and processes that, if employed, will allow you to develop and maintain a level of domestic tranquility in your household that you may not have previously enjoyed.
What will follow is based on research in both the workplace and households composed of committed couples both with and without children. Personally, I have been in a committed monogamous relationship for over 25 years, so I feel I do speak with some authority on this topic. Based upon this research, and personal experience, I believe the primary beneficiaries of this announcement will be married males.
I have found the individuals least likely to possess the skills to be offered are married males who have been married 6 years or less, but this is by no means the only group that can benefit.
Ladies, and gentlemen, you may wish to peruse this offering and, if you have a partner who shares some of the less desirable traits discussed herein, you can then direct them to this helpful information.
The thesis for everything to follow is this: Guys, you are wrong. You were wrong, you are wrong, and you will always be wrong.
The most common response to this assertion is to refute its validity. And, in any particular circumstance, you may be technically correct. However, as correct as you may be, you are still wrong. To act in any manner which fails to recognize this will only result in discord. What we want to attain is tranquility, both in your life and the lives of those around you.
You may have acted selflessly, solely to the benefit of those around you. You, no doubt, did precisely as requested, performed in the manner desired, and produced the results which were sought. However, if your significant other is not pleased you must be able to immediately disassociate your self from your efforts.
This is not a skill that is generally found to be prevalent in the group I mentioned above as being most likely to benefit from this PSA. In fact, I have found this group to most readily react to less than enthusiastic endorsement by ascending the Pedestal of Righteousness.
The Pedestal of Righteousness can be an enticing destination. But, it is not a place you can live. You may stand upon the Pedestal of Righteousness for as long as you wish or until you collapse from exhaustion, whichever comes first. Then, when you have once again deigned to join those mere mortals you left behind you will still not have the tranquility which is sought.
The following exchange is a typical example of the results of acting as discussed above. The names have been changed to protect all those involved.
“Hey Pete, something bothering you?”
“Yea, my wife’s mad at me.”
“Well, did you apologize?”
“No, I didn’t do anything to apologize for.”
Now, Pete is not happy. Pete’s wife is not happy. And if there are any children, if both parents are unhappy then the kids are not happy either. That’s a lot of unnecessary unhappiness.
What all of this has been leading to is near at hand. I refer to this as the “Husband’s Mantra”. Not because it is exclusive to them but because my research shows they are the most likely to benefit from its use.
The Husbands Mantra is, Baby (insert your preferred term of endearment) I’m sorry, it was my fault, I was thoughtless, and it won’t happen again. Commit this to memory. The moment will be lost in any hesitation.
When your wife, spouse, girlfriend, or significant other begins to look at you crosswise you must be able to immediately respond with “Baby, I’m sorry, it was my fault, I was thoughtless, and it won’t happen again”.
If you can offer this statement honestly and sincerely then you have already benefited in being able to express your recognition of the value of your partner and your desire to please them.
If you cannot offer this statement in that honest and sincere manner, then you must do so promptly and as often as necessary. Then proceed to do that which your partner desires. Do not act as Lot’s wife, but proceed with alacrity, enthusiasm, and commitment onto whatever task is presented.
Do not dwell in the past, for there be monsters. Rather, embrace the tranquility which can be yours. In the recitation of the Husband’s Mantra, you are not denying yourself, but rather, validating your significant other.
Repeat, Baby, I’m sorry, it was my fault, I was thoughtless and it won’t happen again.
Thank you for your time and attention. I am Michael Wesley, and Papa Tango 6 is out.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
So, we're discusiing security today. The concept that a superior education is a greater basis for security than an overwhelming military force was bandied about.
Of course, a military force that requires continual replenishment of supplies is a much greater source of revenue than an educated workforce which can demand higher wages.
The recipients of a superior education may be able to more capably address international concerns and engage in diplomacy, but where's the profit in that?
An overwhelming military force reduces if not eliminates the need to engage in lengthy and meaningful discussion. After all, time is money, and the military-industrial complex is a powerful group with tremendous influence.
Of course, a military force that requires continual replenishment of supplies is a much greater source of revenue than an educated workforce which can demand higher wages.
The recipients of a superior education may be able to more capably address international concerns and engage in diplomacy, but where's the profit in that?
An overwhelming military force reduces if not eliminates the need to engage in lengthy and meaningful discussion. After all, time is money, and the military-industrial complex is a powerful group with tremendous influence.
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